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Let's all stand to pee

Mothers Against Peeing Standing Up was created in the US in the year 2000 with the express purpose of ridding the world of the highly recognisable male urinating stance by 2010, and when you and I addressed the issue of piddle puddles early last week none of us had ever heard of it. And so it is uncanny just how close I and the blog respondents came to MAPSU. I came across it in a travel book I was reading a couple of nights ago.

One of our blog respondents, BUb, came as close as suggesting we start a political party with the unlikely title of Men To Sit To Pee (MTSTP)!

As I write in my column in The Herald today, MAPSU appears to be a serious organisation, with Uncle Sam I WANT YOU TO TAKE A SEAT posters and a shop selling mugs, t-shirts, tiles, mousepads and stickers with the VERBOTEN stamp of a figure peeing into a toilet bowl (and missing).

The Australian version of this campaign has been started by my wife, a difficult woman whose gratitude does not extend to ignoring a few misdirected drops here and there in the bathroom. As I explained a week ago, she has issued an ultimatum to the male members of her family: sit to pee or pee off. She has offered a transitional option of wrapping it in toilet paper for the obligatory spray, err I mean shake.

Check out the site http://www.mapsu.org/

And here's one that offers a step towards real equality for women: http://www.travelmateinfo.com/.

One of my workmates, a young woman, tells me the female funnel that allows women to pee standing is common at concerts in the UK, where, as everywhere, the queues for the Ladies are horrendous. It has been offered at a concert in Melbourne too. There are quite a few different brands available, among them Travelmate, Shewee, She Pee and P-Mates. Maybe, once they'd enjoyed the thrill and the freedom of peeing where you stand, the American mothers would rename their organisation Mothers Against Peeing Sitting Down.

Think of the benefits for the environment. So instead of a doomed crusade for men to squat, let's offer free funnels to encourage women to stand too. The world is our urinal but we are prepared to share. What do you say?

Posted By: Jeff Corbett on 26/08/2008 5:15:17 PM | Comments (7)

Comments

Date: Newest first | Oldest first

How about Peeing In Standard Standing Upright Position (PISSUP)?

Posted by L Ron Cupboard on 27/08/2008 12:10:06 PM

Not too keen on the funnel - would have the same problem as you blokes have. instead of pee running down your leg or on the porcelain, us women could have it running down our hands Yack, forget that one, lets go back to the political party or join up with the yanks. no lets not, why should we follow the yanks, our politicans do that enough. Our last PM was all over them like a rash. George Bush would Sneeze and John Howard would say excuse me. So we have given the funnel the flick.

Posted by Bub on 27/08/2008 12:57:59 PM

Brain surgeon Charlie Teo is said to have catheterised himself during long operations. Perhaps there's no need to queue.

Posted by chaff and oats on 27/08/2008 4:53:39 PM

Speaking of funnels, I am reminded of a famous ABC News blooper, decades ago when ABC news was read in perfect English. The late John Chance (you couldn't get a better voice) reported, "A woman has been admitted to hospital on the south coast after being bitten on the funnel by a fingerweb spider". There was not even an "I'm sorry, I'll read that again". Not exactly on your point Jeff, but very close.

Posted by Dirty Harry on 27/08/2008 9:22:46 PM

Ahhh , the piss phone is legend on the Burwood Inn bus trips to bowral cup race day.... Not a drop spilt & the bus never stops till they get to the "pub with no beer". You would be amazed at some of the names that have been on that phone.... Even Reg Reagan has been on that phone.

Posted by Tough Titties on 29/08/2008 12:16:18 PM

The problem was solved in our household years ago. My mother came to live with us and she had to have a hip replacement done. The drs recommended that she use an upward extension for the toilet seat to reduce the effort required to regain a standing position once finished and the subsequent strain on her new hip. In our new second bathroom, instead of using an extension on top of the throne we had the plumber build a little base under it using a couple of bricks and cementing around them, raising the whole thing by 20 cm. Needless to say it was quite a different experience sitting with your feet dangling, but the biggest advantage was that the top of the throne was now closer to the male appendage and the 'angle of error ' was drastically reduced. Hence happiness for everyone: Mum felt like a schoolgirl dangling her legs; wife had less cleaning to do; kids thought it a great novelty; and I didn't have to panic when taking a pee after a couple of beers. The throne still has pride of place in our second bathroom and I have noted that once visitors have tried it they are hooked.

Posted by Syntaxed on 29/08/2008 12:56:16 PM

Please don't inform the Clark government in NZ, they'd make it law while they still can and add the urinal trade to businesses they have castrated. But seriously, sharpshooting is a male rite of passage, peer pressure works wonders on those with poor streaming skills.

Posted by mick on 1/09/2008 3:22:22 PM